Weakness
There is no weakness in forgiveness.
In my humanness I flee from this and an internal conflict rages at every turn.
Self-preservation is my natural, primal, carnal state.
To forgive and to chose humility or even humiliation is a matter of trusting in God.
Trusting that His ways are way above my ways and that they are good.
God is always at work, giving me endless opportunities to be refined.
I want to rejoice in those opportunities.
I want to trust God more.
I want my life to have a warm, lustrous beauty.
I want to become golden.
“… when He Has Tried me, I shall come forth as gold!” (Job 23:10)
I want to live my life with the absolute joy that comes from a trusting abandon to my Lord, Savior, Father, Healer and Friend.
Gratitude
THANK YOU SO MUCH JESUS FOR:
- my faithful and amazing husband
- my delightful, creative, and vivacious children
- this fantastic sunny, clear spring day
- the work I have before me and the people entrusting me to do it well
- our washer and dryer
In Between
The Saturday between Good Friday and Easter Sunday is always a strange day for me. I’m not sure how to feel or what to do. It’s often filled with errands or normal activities that just don’t feel quite right.
What’s my responsibility this day in terms of preparing my heart for tomorrow? Jesus was dead. That’s what we’re told. I often wonder what was going on during this in-between-day, in the spiritual realm. Was there a frantic panicking of Satan and his slaves? Did he know what was coming, or was he reveling in his perceived victory?
There was most surely many tears and confusion amongst Jesus’ close friends and family. His mother…oh, the pain. For sure there was gossip and many stories being shared of what so-and-so saw or heard. I imagine a lot of chaos, in the city, and in people’s hearts and minds. And quite honestly, there was certainly more chaos to come the next day. Just a chaos of a different kind. A fantastic and glorious chaos!
So back to the “in between.” Maybe this life is a lot like those three days 2000 years ago. I am born into sin…dead, Adam’s unfortunate legacy. However I am made new and forever alive through Jesus. And now there’s this in between time…here, this life, where we’re waiting for it all to be completely renewed and restored and right…eternal. It’s a waiting time. I have this longing that will never really go away or be satisfied until I’m with Him.
It’s not a perfect metaphor and I’m certainly called to do a lot more that just sit around and wait. I’v got work to do. To be His hands and feet and heart to those around me…to bring His kingdom now…to prepare the way for His dazzling return.
Sunday’s coming but Saturday is now.
Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.
Dying to Self = Reckless Love = Endless Reproduction of Real LIFE
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer
The old life is a grass life, its beauty as short-lived as wildflowers;
Grass dries up, flowers droop, God’s Word goes on and on forever.
This is the Word that conceived the new life in you. -1 Peter 1:24
Superman
Jesus speaking in John: “Where I go, you cannot come.”
The Iron Giant speaking to Hogarth: “No following.”
Only Jesus can save me. I cannot go to where He went…to the cross. Yet He does call me to lay down my life…to love rightly. He calls me to die to all that I want and possibly even die literally to give life to others and bring His kingdom down. In death comes life. God’s great riddle.
I seriously love when God speaks through things other than the Bible to nudge my heart and wake me up to the deep and fantastic truth of who He is and what he has done. The word of God stands as my fixed measuring rod but I am learning that if I keep my eyes open and pay attention, truth is always being spoken and God is showing himself literally everywhere! He made us beautifully complex creatures and He knows what moves me.
For me it works in a cycle, I read the word of God and learn, layer upon layer, more of who God is. Then I see realities all around me that affirm what I read and it excites me about how supernaturally alive the Bible is, just like it says.
Slave
Whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave. That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not to be served—and then to give away his life in exchange for many who are held hostage. - Mark 10:45
He came to serve, not to be served.
He came to serve, not to be served.
He came to serve, not to be served.
He came to serve, not to be served.
He came to serve, not to be served.
The SON OF GOD came to serve.
I need to put to death my natural desire to be served all of the time. It’s so subtle sometimes but it’s a constant urge and inclination.
ME ME ME ME ME.
NO NO NO NO NO.
I want to be doing life like Jesus. I want to trust in that even though my flesh recoils at it so often. I want to start every day and look at every relationship through the lens of how I can bless, and help, and love, and serve.
Sparkle
This is what the birth of my stunning daughter seventeen years ago has done to my life. Infused it with magicality, joy, glitteriness, radiance, mystery, beauty, whimsy, light…
I COULD GO ON.
I love you more than words can say my Cloë Ray!
True
God seeks me with the
strength of a father, the
heart of a shepherd, and the
love of a husband.
